Losing someone is hard, expecially if that someone belongs in your family. It's not supposed to be easy, and it definitely is hard. Once you think you're over it, BAM something comes up and you're faced dealing with the emotions all over again. All these thoughts are running through my mind, as I just lost my Grandpa last Friday. It was very hard for me, as it was very sudden and unexpected. One day my mom told me that my Grandparents were sick, the next day my mom tells me that he is in ER, the next day he is having trouble breathing, and the next day he is barely holding on to life. How can someone who was doing fine just 3 weeks ago, all of a sudden be dead, just like that? MAybe there was something going on that no one knew about, maybe he wasn't being honest with his health, maybe it was just his time, but these maybe's could be going on for hours. The point is that for whatever reason, God felt that it was his time to go, and for that reason alone, we need to respect God's decision. God has a plan, and it's not to hurt us, harm us, but it's to forever dwell in His house. That's what my Grandpa is doing right now. He gets the pleasure, honor, and joy of living for eternity with God; he just beat us all in the race.
On one hand I feel peace that my Grandpa is in heaven with God; but on the other hand I am disappointed that he left earth too soon. I was really looking forward to him getting to see me get married this summer, and then to graduate from college this next year. These things bring sadness to my heart. He was looking forward to seeing me get married. He loved Adam, and told me on several occasions that I couldn't have found a better choice of a mate. Why Lord? Why? Why did you have to take him, when he was this excited for us/me? I just don't understand this aspect of it all. I just wish that he could be there.
But then on the other hand, I know that he will be there on my big day, looking down on Adam and I, giving us his blessing. I just hope that I will have the strength to get through these next couple of months, knowing that he won't be there to participate in any more major life events.
Lord please give me strength.
Rest In Peace in Heaven Grandpa, for you will always be in my ♥
In the dear memory of Albert Ford Boucher, April 23, 2010.